2022—A Year of Hope and Moving Ahead.

Another day, another week, a new month, the last month. Where in the heck did the year go?

I’m beginning to believe the old adage that time slips away faster as you get older. I recall as a child, wishing the days away to reach a long awaited day, a special occasion, only to have the hours and minutes tick by at the rate of a snail on ice. Then, as you get older, those special times become fewer and farther between. So bogged down in the responsibilities of  the day to day grind, the days slip by unnoticed. The days blur, weeks meld into each other, one constant trail with no end. As the ticker tape of daily life spins by, those hours and minutes add up and before you know it, a month has gone by. Then another. And another. And soon all twelve have come and gone and a new year looms ahead , a vast emptiness of the unknown. It’s hard to believe we’ve been living here in Calgary for three years now. A new home, of old familiar places and faces mixed in with new places and spaces. A pandemic. The loss of family and a friend. A family closer in distance yet still far apart compounding that sense of isolation.

2022 has been a year of promise, of new hope, and the slow resumption of a normality we all thought was lost. Swallowed up into a black hole of despair. But for so many, it’s been a year of progress, new beginnings, the start of new travels exciting and scary. For me, 2022 has continued its ups and downs. A smaller sized version of a roller coaster, with fewer bumps and potholes to navigate. This year has seen fewer seizures, ambulances, and hospital visits, more pros versus cons. I’ve ticked a number of boxes on my to do list of ailments. Hearing aids to help me listen, a throat clearer, enabling sound to escape, food to slide down without catching. Eye drops and Botox to help me see, a clearer vision of the world around me, crisp lines, not blurry, looking ahead without a distorted view of what lies before me.

What’s in store for 2023? Don’t know. Can’t foresee. I gave up making new year’s resolutions, refusing to create a no win situation, setting the bar so high I’d only trip and fall, failing to clear it.

Living with epilepsy and psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, being depressed, anxious, having had suicidal ideations, my goal is to focus on the here and now, not dwelling on the past or pining for a future I couldn’t control. Being mindful of the now, aware of the moment in time, and how it affects me,  is how I survive. Controlling what I can, how I feel, what I think in that space of minutes and hours, realizing what has to be, what will be, what I must leave alone.

2023 will have its challenges, I have no doubt, but I’m a new person, a different being, stronger and wiser than before. I have the tools to manage what life can hold, the frustrations, anxieties, and emotional upheavals and I will survive.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, a joyous season celebrating your heritage and traditions, and all the very best in the months that follow. Many hugs and kisses and well wishes.

Linda aka Anne

*as always, these are my thoughts, the expressions of my mind and are in no way forced upon you and yours.*