Battles of The Mind: A Memoir
Category: State of Mind
Recovery
Happy New Year—one month late. Whether you live with epilepsy, pnes, or both, and no matter the frequency of your seizures, the recovery period isn’t just regaining the physical balance, returning to your baseline as neurologists state, it also encompasses the mind. That emotional aspect of ‘not again’ what did I do wrong? How could… Continue reading Recovery
2022—A Year of Hope and Moving Ahead.
Another day, another week, a new month, the last month. Where in the heck did the year go? I’m beginning to believe the old adage that time slips away faster as you get older. I recall as a child, wishing the days away to reach a long awaited day, a special occasion, only to have… Continue reading 2022—A Year of Hope and Moving Ahead.
I Just Remembered..
The memory is a funny creature. Sometimes preferring to hide away in its lair, hibernating until it awakens, rising to the surface slowly like a bubble weaving and bobbing its way to the top. Or so it seems to me.The brain stores, somewhere amongst the million or more neurons, thoughts and feelings in neat little… Continue reading I Just Remembered..
Setting Goals
I gave up setting goals many years ago, decades even, long before my epilepsy diagnosis, and more since my PNES was confirmed. It seemed pointless. I mean, why would I work towards something that could, would, potentially fail? Yes, that is a defeatist attitude, negative in so many ways, but is also a defense mechanism… Continue reading Setting Goals
Boundaries and limits
After receiving my epilepsy diagnosis, I spiralled into a state of shock, disbelief, fear, and , yes, self pity. Emotions I’ve spent decades burying rushed to the surface. Sadness, anger, grief, and even guilt. It’s taken a long winding road full of hills and valleys, moving along narrow rocky paths inches from the edge of… Continue reading Boundaries and limits
The Art of Perfection (or is it a curse?)
The art of perfection takes years to perfect, yes pun intended. My lessons began at an early age and growing up in the 60s and 70s, we didn’t mince words. The world was seen in shades, not colour. I recall old adages relating to ‘doing things right’ ‘haste makes waste’ and ‘if you want something… Continue reading The Art of Perfection (or is it a curse?)
April in Review
Wow. Another month down. 😮 Here in Calgary, our April ‘showers’ were colder, heavier, and whiter than normal but the temperatures remained relatively mild. I mean, it is spring, isn’t it? Or at least, it’s supposed to be. In any case, the white stuff came, piled up a bit, melted, came again, melted, and is… Continue reading April in Review
Introspection
{Long post warning} A thought occurred to me this morning, one of those AH-HA moments where the realization of something that’s bounced around in the crevices of your mind now appears as Johnny did in The Shinning. In the early days since my epilepsy diagnosis, I journalled writing down every thought, fear, frustration, and anything… Continue reading Introspection
People and Places
Over the years since my epilepsy diagnosis, I’ve encountered all sorts of individuals and found myself in places I never imagined. Almost 2 years after my sentencing, I’d hadn’t connected with anyone, other than my old boss, who had epilepsy or knew what I was experiencing. I had my sister, of course, a medical professional… Continue reading People and Places