If I knew then

If I had an inkling I’d be forced into retirement, the choice not one of my making.

If I had known I’d be a widow at 41 left to raise my son alone, to fend for myself.

If I had known, I’d become damaged beyond repair by a relationship so toxic it made me sick.

If I had an inkling of what my future had in store, the moments of fear, frustration, and anger.

If I only had a clue I’d be faced with anxiety, depression, and more.

If only I knew about the pills, hospitals, ambulance rides, all the money spent commuting.

If only I knew I’d move away from my birthplace to somewhere unfamiliar.

If I had an inkling of the isolation of a global pandemic with little or no access to family.

If I had known what I know now, what I feel, what I’ve seen, and what I’ve done.

Would it have made a difference?

Would I be different?

Would my situation achieve the same results?

Would I have made other choices?

Would I have left my hometown?

If I had an inkling –If I had known—if only I had—If only I knew—If I had an inkling—If I had known—Would it have—Would I—Would my—Would I have.

If I knew then.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.