If I had an inkling I’d be forced into retirement, the choice not one of my making.
If I had known I’d be a widow at 41 left to raise my son alone, to fend for myself.
If I had known, I’d become damaged beyond repair by a relationship so toxic it made me sick.
If I had an inkling of what my future had in store, the moments of fear, frustration, and anger.
If I only had a clue I’d be faced with anxiety, depression, and more.
If only I knew about the pills, hospitals, ambulance rides, all the money spent commuting.
If only I knew I’d move away from my birthplace to somewhere unfamiliar.
If I had an inkling of the isolation of a global pandemic with little or no access to family.
If I had known what I know now, what I feel, what I’ve seen, and what I’ve done.
Would it have made a difference?
Would I be different?
Would my situation achieve the same results?
Would I have made other choices?
Would I have left my hometown?
If I had an inkling –If I had known—if only I had—If only I knew—If I had an inkling—If I had known—Would it have—Would I—Would my—Would I have.
If I knew then.