It’s funny how certain memories will rise up and smack you in the face, a little reminder of days gone by sent as a wakeup call or to see where you where and how far you travelled. One thing I promised myself when I moved to Calgary was, I’d take part in research projects and… Continue reading I remember when …
Being diagnosed at 49 altered my life immensely. Adjusting my day-to-day to include a condition that randomly strikes disrupting the daily ebbs and flows, replacing old habits and activities with new ones, or none, is a challenge for any adult. But what about a child? To develop such a disabling illness in the early years,… Continue reading Living With Epilepsy-A Perpetual Adjustment Period
Not my most favourite song, to be honest, but the right sentiment is there. That, and Don’t sweat the small stuff. Take it with a grain of salt. Like water running off a duck’s back. Grin and bear it. This piece is dedicated to all my fellow epilepsy and pnes patients and the lives they… Continue reading Don’t Worry be Happy
We’ve never had all the answers. The why—the how come—the where—the what’s next? I’d come to terms with not driving. Swore not to drink again, that evil partly to blame for bringing me to where I am today. The stressors—my life choices. Terrible—horrible—bad decisions when faced with a fork in the road, led down the… Continue reading Electrical Overload – A Poem
To Blame or not to Blame? Why is it after every seizure I ask myself, ‘what did I do wrong?’ How did I cause it?’ Each time, I have one, I still assume it was something I did to bring it on, that it’s my fault. Whether it’s epileptic or non, I believe it happened… Continue reading Is it me?
It’s weird how sounds bounce back, a replay of a moment, repeated word for word. Memories do that, triggered by the sight of something familiar, a scent, or a person, bringing forth a rush of emotion. In a way, seizures have an echo, not of the physical type, but purely emotional. Visiting the site of… Continue reading The Seizure ‘Echo’
PNES is diagnosed using some of the same technology as epilepsy. Electrodes (tiny discs the size of a dime) glued to the scalp and attached to an EEG (electroencephalogram), are used to confirm any electrical disturbances on the brain, specifically the neurons. Epileptic seizures are a result of misfiring neurons the discharges appear like earthquakes… Continue reading Psychogenic non-epileptic seizures [pnes]and Epilepsy
My time in the seizure unit was filled with tests, seizures, hockey games, Netflix, reading, puzzle books, and poetry. Sitting, or laying in a hospital bed, within a 9×9 cell, 20 or more electrodes crazy-glued to my head, and attached to a cord plugged into a computer mounted on the wall, was almost suffocating. The… Continue reading Foothills Poetry
I never thought I was an anxious person and I don’t think I knew the true definition of anxiety until 2015. Or maybe a little before then. We all get those ‘butterflies’ in the stomach sensation, that ‘oh shit’ feeling from time to time. But, for me, it’s more than that. When it was just… Continue reading Anxiety, Fear, and Scared Shitless!
**WARNING This section may be upsetting or disturbing, proceed with caution.** I never thought this would happen to me, to be so despondent that I’d consider taking my life. Those thoughts belong to other people, the homeless, victims of violence, those with mental illnesses. Not me. But anyone could feel this way. Depression, anxiety, stress,… Continue reading Suicidal Thoughts